Success & EQ

 It`s the last month of the year again everybody! Definitely, we all have something to be thankful for.

People who do not succeed have one distinguishing trait in common. They know all the reasons for failure, and have what they believe to be air-tight alibis to explain away their own lack of achievement. Some of these alibis are clever, and a few of them are justifiable by the facts. But alibis cannot be used for money. The world wants to know only one thing - HAVE YOU ACHIEVED SUCCESS? A character analyst compiled a list of the most commonly used alibis.

The philosophy presented by Napoleon Hill in his immortal book, "Think and Grow Rich" makes every one of them obsolete. Such as; IF I didn't have a wife and family . . ..IF I had money . . . etc.

IF * * * and this is the greatest of them all * * * I had the courage to see myself as I really am, I would find out what is wrong with me, and correct it, then I might have a chance to profit by my mistakes and learn something from the experience of others. For I know that there is something WRONG with me, or I would now be where I WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I had spent more time analyzing my weaknesses, and less time building alibis to cover them. The word "alibi" has been replaced by the word "excuse" but the meanings remain the same. As an individual in an association, and as a Yoruba man, do you remember this song “Yoruba Ronu”? Get organized! Get your act together! What is your contribution toward the success of the society, host nation and your association? What's your excuse for not achieving more, and How can you turn that excuse into positive action? Emotional intelligence can be a key differentiator. Again, efforts to build emotional intelligence can be a challenge, but the effort will most definitely be worth it. Come join us! Young or old. Let`s build the house!

We are helping you to count your blessings one by one, if you were born in December! Therefore, we celebrate with you and we pray that December ko ni di gbogbo wa meru lo (will not pack you and me with luggage).

Happy Holidays everybody!

Olusegun

Aare YAJ

Wabi-Sabi Intelligence.

Hello everyone!

It is November and we have less than two months to finish this year, unbelievable!

In traditional Japanese philosophy Wabi-sabi is sometimes described as beauty that is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. It means we always need to acknowledge that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. Arts can exemplify a wabi-sabi aesthetic as in Honkyoku, Ikebana,  Bonsai etc. The wabi and sabi concepts are religious in origin, but actual usage of the words in Japanese is often quite casual. In today's Japan, the meaning of wabi-sabi is often condensed to wisdom in natural simplicity. A scholar once stated that wabi-sabi people can learn to live through the senses and better engagement in life as it happens, rather than being caught up in unnecessary thoughts. The idea is that being surrounded by natural, changing, unique objects helps us connect to our real world and escape potentially stressful distractions. Wabi-sabi can change our perception of our world (or individual lives) to the extent that a chip or crack in a vase ( as in changes we experience) makes it more interesting and gives the object greater meditative value. Similarly materials that age such as bare wood, paper, old buildings and fabric become more interesting as they exhibit changes that can be observed over time. This is the relationship between wabi-sabi and emotional Intelligence.

We celebrate with you if you were born in November. We pray that you will not be fed with eba because of illness this month ( won o ni f`eba nu o ni osu yi ) and always.

Have a wonderful month everybody!

Olusegun

Aare YAJ

Intelligence of Giving & Receiving.

  It`s October everybody! I hope you are rounding up the year little by little?

Are you a good receiver? It might sound like a funny question but it is an important one that each of us should ask ourselves. Strangely, most of us are better givers than we are receivers. We give to our children, our spouses, our friends, charities and, contrary to what we might think, most of us are actually very good at giving. But receiving is another matter. We often feel subtly uncomfortable when receiving. Even compliments get deflected when they come our way. Those people who have lived for long in Japan and understand their culture may get my point better. Someone pays us a compliment for helping them move or clean up the house and we say, “Ah, it was nothing.” Or someone compliments us on an outfit we are wearing and we feel inclined to mention how we bought it at a discount instead of simply enjoying the compliment and letting it nourish us. The compliment is a gift to us, and when we don’t receive it properly we are dishonoring the giver. We are taught that it is better to give than receive, there is nothing wrong with receiving either, in fact we want to receive more, let life shower us with gifts, pleasures, joys, surprises, both large and small. It is harder to receive than to give, and we need to work on this part of ourselves so that we become good receivers and givers, with both in balance. Receive it generously and abundantly, showing your appreciation every opportunity you can. This gratitude will send out vibrations of energy that will attract even more blessings to you. On this note we appreciate everyone present at our last event and all donors both within and without. We received with appreciation and hope to be able to reciprocate the good gestures. Thank you very much!

We celebrate with you if you were born in October. In this month Oko ota ko niba o o (enemy`s stone will not hit you).And to everybody, as Octopus has many hands, you shall receive so many helping hands in this October and always.

Have a wonderful month!

Segun,

Aare YAJ.

Intelligence of Giving & Receiving.

It`s October everybody! I hope you are rounding up the year little by little?

Are you a good receiver? It might sound like a funny question but it is an important one that each of us should ask ourselves. Strangely, most of us are better givers than we are receivers. We give to our children, our spouses, our friends, charities and, contrary to what we might think, most of us are actually very good at giving. But receiving is another matter. We often feel subtly uncomfortable when receiving. Even compliments get deflected when they come our way. Those people who have lived for long in Japan and understand their culture may have a better idea. Someone pays us a compliment for helping them move or clean up the house and we say, “Ah, it was nothing.” Or someone compliments us on an outfit we are wearing and we feel inclined to mention how we bought it at a discount instead of simply enjoying the compliment and letting it nourish us. The compliment is a gift to us, and when we don’t receive it properly we are dishonoring the giver. We are taught that it is better to give than receive, there is nothing wrong with receiving either, in fact we want to receive more, let life shower us with gifts, pleasures, joys, surprises, both large and small. It is harder to receive than to give, and we need to work on this part of ourselves so that we become good receivers and givers, with both in balance. Receive it generously and abundantly, showing your appreciation every opportunity you can. This gratitude will send out vibrations of energy that will attract even more blessings to you. On this note we appreciate everyone present at our last event and all donors both within and without. We received with appreciation and hope to be able to reciprocate the good gestures. Thank you very much!

We celebrate with you if you were born October.. In this month Oko ota ko niba o o (enemy`s stone will not hit you).And to everybody, as Octopus has many hands, you shall receive so many helping hands in this October and always.

Have a wonderful month!

Segun,

Aare YAJ.

Ubuntu & Emotional intelligence.

Hello everyone! It is September and the beginning of many holidays to round up the year.

Have you ever heard of Ubuntu?

Ubuntu is an ancient African word meaning ‘humanity to others’. It also means ‘I am what I am because of who we all are’. Ubuntu is not easy to describe. It is both a philosophy and a way of action. It is a distinctive African cosmological system of teaching each individual to appreciate and enjoy their life while caring, sharing and respecting others. Ubuntu belongs to no one tribe or no one religion or teaching. It is simply a way of living and being that allows our basic goodness to come forth.

A Xhosa proverb states, “Ubuntu ungamuntu ngabanye abantu.” People are people through other people. In other words we need each other to be fully human and alive. It is in our interaction with others that our humanness flourishes.

The values of Ubuntu manifest in good deeds, things like being sensitive to the needs of others, being compassionate, forgiving, caring and generous. They are pillars of Ubuntu living. This is where Emotional intelligence kicks in, because if applied properly, it will benefit us all. This is possibly the origin of democracy. If so, I think it is a great gift from Africa to the world.

Nelson Mandela was the embodiment of Ubuntu and he had spoken of it often, but because the term is not familiar to western ears, had gone unnoticed.

A human being from an Ubuntu perspective should be kind, generous, friendly, living in harmony with himself, the environment and others, and at one with the creator.

Come join us and be part of the Ubuntu movement.

We celebrate with you all born in September. Osu Kesaan a sanwa o !!! ( we will prosper in September).Remain remembered in the Ember months and beyond everybody!

Olusegun

Aare YAJ

EMOTIONAL FITNESS

Eku deede iwoyio meaning hello everyone!

Although emotional health cannot be compared 1 to 1 with physical health, it can be helpful to think about it this way: everyone has a body, so everyone has physical health.

Many people believe that if they aren’t feeling ill, then they don’t have to attend to their physical health. But people who are physically fit know that just because you are not ill, does not mean you are healthy. Emotional health is similar. Being “emotionally fit” takes time, patience, and persistence. Emotional fitness is not characterized by the absence of major psychological disorders; in fact, a person can be dealing with anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, etc. and still be emotionally fit. The best way to be emotionally fit is setting a SMART goal always.

SMART here means Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely.

A Specific goal is just that, specific. If you say“I want to be rich and successful” isn’t a specific enough if there are no such details as asking yourself;  what to do? , what skill do I need? , how to acquire the skill?  When? Etc.

Measurable goals define the way you plan to get to the overall end goal. They’re a kind of blueprint for you.

Attainable goals require a bit of thought as well as some sense of self. They’re personal in that only you can determine your ability to attain something.

Relevance is important in almost every area of life. I mean, why do something if it’s not relevant? A relevant goal establishes the “why?” of the process.

Timely in my opinion is the most straightforward part of the whole SMART equation. Again, this isn’t a vague, maybe-someday kind of goal.Timely means just that—set a time frame for yourself. Whatever works, commit to it. Emotional fitness ( to be of sound mind) is an ongoing commitment to looking inward, processing through difficult emotions, and working toward self-awareness and self-improvement. There and then you will be useful to your community.

Like any fitness regimen, it needs to be maintained and will prevent more serious issues down the line.That is how to be emotionally intelligent.

We celebrate with you if you were born in August. Your glory will shine (Ogo re yio buyo) in this month and always.

Have a wonderful summer month everyone!

Olusegun

Aare YAJ

Dreams

Eku deede iwoyio! Meaning hello everyone!

Do you ever dream? Have you ever had a scary dream? Think you were dying? Falling? Wake up in a sweat? What causes dreams? I have no idea — and neither do the experts. All kinds of studies, all kinds of theories, all kinds of books, but very few answers. There’s a much more powerful form of dreaming – day dreaming. The similarity between night dreams and daydreams is that they are both a form of thinking. Dreams are thoughts. Have you ever daydreamed? OF COURSE YOU HAVE! Ever get yelled at for daydreaming? OF COURSE YOU HAVE! Unfortunately, your teachers and parents have historically thought (and told you) that daydreaming was bad. They were wrong. People like Albert Einstein failed in school because they were daydreaming instead of paying attention, but thanks to multiple intelligence theory, where emotional intelligence belongs, they were successful. IMPORTANT NOTICE: Daydreaming is a meal ticket for you. IF YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Daydreaming is the BEGINNING of a journey, an act, a goal, a fantasy. The most important part of daydreaming is to do it. And take note of it. Not just as whimsical, but as a possibility of what might be, but what could be. Daydreaming is not only good. It’s ESSENTIAL. It’s a tool. And it brings thoughts to the surface. Daydreams are for:

An idea you’ve been thinking about. Something you want. Something you want to change. Something you want to achieve. Something you want to improve. Something you want to accomplish with your association or personally. Productive daydreams are about what you’ll do that may change them to achievements. Make your dreams come true. All you need to do is employ the three critical words: Think. Write. Act. And beware and be aware of the dream killers.You can make your dreams a reality with the famous quote: “I think I can. I think I can.”

We celebrate with you if you were born in July. Yio jushe/sheeshe fun o ( it will be possible for you) in this month and always.

Have a wonderful July everyone!

Olusegun

Aare NUJ.

Work-life balance

Eku deede iwoyio meaning hello everyone!

Questions about work-life balance form an important part of our lives, but if you asked me how I handle work-life balance, I would have to say: I don’t really have a work-life balance; I have a work-life blend. It’s funny that sometimes you can do something successfully at work, but fail to do it at home. As long as no one part of your life suffers too much and you are open to the compromises you are making, I think you can have some semblance of balance. That is how to be emotionally intelligent.

Two key things can help you make decisions on how to spend your time.The first is, try to ensure to spend that quality time that makes up for any lack in quantity of time. Even though I have to work many hours, I often can choose to work late at night and early in the morning, when everyone is asleep. That stuff is important in creating a relationship you can then build on for the rest of your life.The second thing is realizing that you can’t do all the things all the time. A study shows that there’s only so much deep work a person can do in a given day before it becomes counterproductive.

We all have the same number of minutes per day; only you can actually sit down and decide what matters to you. Only you can balance the different needs into a blend that actually works for you. The only real choice we have is how we use them.

We celebrate with you if you were born in June we pray that you will not junu or sonu (be lost )in this month, this year and the rest of your life. Have a wonderful month everyone!

Olusegun

Aare YAJ 

Embrace change

Eku deede iwoyi o meaning hello everyone!

Emotionally intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness. They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and they form a plan of action should these changes occur. Learn to agree to disagree. Share your opinion, don’t try to force it on people because when you do it is equivalent to manipulation and this may lead to strife which in turn may lead to confusion.We must all have the ability to communicate effectively and properly manage relationships in order to move a team of people especially our association in a desired direction. Don`t be sad if your idea or opinion is not used or implemented immediately or at all because as they say "igi kan ko le dagbo se".Yoruba ko ni baje o.

We celebrate with you if you were born in May. Olorun Mayowa will bring you joy in this month and always.

Have a wonderful May everyone!

Aare Olusegun

YAJ.

Effective Communication

E ku deede iwoyio meaning hello or good day everyone.

Communication is of the utmost importance in our lives. Studies show that effective communication is 7% the words we say and 93% tone and body language. Misunderstandings and lack of communication are usually the basis of problems between most people. Failing to communicate effectively in a workplace leads to frustration, bitterness, and confusion among employees. Effective communication can eliminate obstacles and encourage stronger workplace relationships. When employees know their role within a company and understand how they benefit the overall direction and vision, there is a sense of value and accomplishment. Good communication results in alignment and a shared sense of purpose. Are you relying on what others say or don’t say for your value? Are you frustrated today because you don’t have the support from others around you? Try to communicate and see the outcome. Emotional intelligence is a powerful tool critical for exceeding goals, improving critical work relationships, and creating a healthy, productive workplace and organizational culture.

We want to celebrate with you if you were born in April. Apanilerin will always fill your mouth with laughter and joy.

Have a wonderful month everyone!

Olusegun.

 Aare YAJ

Seek no perfection

 Eku deede iwoyio meaning Hello everybody!

It is already March and still quite chilly outside, but early signs of spring are starting to appear. Most noticeably, the plum blossoms are out, telling us that it will soon start to get warmer. Everyone here is looking forward to some nice sunny days and, of course, the cherry blossom!

I want to expatiate more on the 12^th on the list I gave last month.

Emotionally intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and should have done differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and what you will accomplish in the future. Just thinking about the event sends wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences over time. The same happens when you seek perfection in others or your association and they did not meet your expectation. Let us learn to accept one another and try to do what we can to right what we think is wrong rather than running away and or causing more havoc.

Agbajo owo ni afi un soya o.

We celebrate with you if you were born in March. We wish you good health and prosperity as you march on in life.

Have a great month everyone!

Olusegun Thompson

Aare YAJ.

Emotional intelligence.

Eku deede iwoyi o meaning Hello everyone!

We are already in February and the year is running fast again and the clock is ticking.I will be talking on Emotional intelligence this year.As you may know that there are various types of intelligences. When emotional intelligence (EQ) first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar finding especially into the broadly held assumption that IQ was the sole source of success. Decades of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack.

Emotional intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal decisions to achieve positive results. What follows are sure signs that you have a high EQ.

1. You have a robust emotional vocabulary.

2.You’re curious about people.

3.You embrace change 

4.You know your strengths and weaknesses

5.You’re a good judge of character.

6.You are difficult to offend

7.You know how to say no (to yourself and others).

8.You let go of mistakes

9.You give and expect nothing in return.

10.You don’t hold grudges

11. You neutralize toxic people.

12.You don’t seek perfection

13. You appreciate what you have  14. You disconnect

15. You limit your caffeine intake 16.You get enough sleep

17.You stop negative self-talk in its tracks 18.You won’t let anyone limit your joy

The 9^th on the list is very crucial to our association this year.

When someone gives you something spontaneously, without expecting anything in return, this leaves a powerful impression. Emotionally intelligent people build strong relationships because they are constantly thinking about giving others and in this case the association. We look forward for your support this year again.

We congratulate you if you were born in February, wishing you the best in all you do.

Have a wonderful month everyone!

Olusegun.

Aare YAJ

All Out.

Eku Odun eku iyedun.Odun yi yio yabo fun gbogbo wa o

Whatever your age is, I`m sure you’ve made resolutions; you’ve made goals, and often fall short of the stated objective, desire and/or objective.This year, drop resolutions and goals, they’re often painful and unmet.Refer to whatever it is that you want as: “my intended and expected achievement” Not just what the expected achievement is, but how you intend to make it happen.

Not just focus, but genuine drive and the allocation of time to make it happen.There has to be something specific that tells WHAT you want. HOW you plan to make it your reality. And WHEN you believe it will become reality as you look to “put” HAPPINESS, and “be” HAPPY in the New Year.The key word here is “all out.”

What are you going to be DOING all out?

What are you going “all out” to achieve this year?

And what does “all out” mean to you?

Why not add “all out” to whatever you write down so that you are determined to take some real action, and commit to an all-out effort to achieve for yourself? Seems pretty simple – challenge yourself to become better, and in some cases, become the best.

Let`s go all out for the association this year too.

We celebrate with you if you were born in this month wishing you the best of everything.

Have a wonderful month!

Aare Olusegun

YAJ